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Thursday, January 17, 2008

Chatty Kathies


I belong to a yahoo group that is connected to the Birth Center (TBC) where we gave birth to Emmeline. At first I found this group to be incredibly refreshing. I joined when Paul and I were about 20 weeks pregnant. I had been doing a lot of research online while thinking about our birthing and parenting choices. I spent a ton of time on babycenter.com reading around in the chat rooms and seeing what other moms had to say. I have to admit that the discussions I happened upon were very intimidating. The women on these chat forums were brutal, judgmental, and ignorant. Once we joined TBC, I found the chat forum to be inviting, diverse and informed. That was until a few months ago...
In December some moms started posting their opinions about phasing out Christmas because they believed it to be too commercial and flaky. Other moms posted about their fundamental love for Christmas and hope that others could see why the Holiday was so important. It seemed to be an open discussion that had many differing opinions, but without judgment or hostility. I picked up a lot of great ideas about celebrating Christmas more simply, with more sentiment and generosity but without the stress and money. Apparently one mom was singled out and was sent emails privately that called her blasphemous and a freak. She was called a moron and told to start her own cult. This offended mom posted the email publicly on the forum to illustrate how she had been bullied and claimed that she was leaving TBC yahoo group. I honestly couldn't believe that one mom would treat another this way just because they differed in opinion. But then I remembered reading page after page of bickering and judging on other sites (the circumcision topic was the most heated). I was extremely disappointed that TBC mammas were treating each other this way.
I have a deep love and respect for my TBC friend and their babies. They have been the women that have kept me going and sane these past six months because we are all in the same boat. They are warm, intelligent and giving. They share information and advice freely and do not take offense if your opinion or experience differs from theirs. I was very sad to see that TBC forum was taking an ugly turn.
To my TBC ladies: Thanks for your support, respect and friendship. To the others that are a bit misguided: Can't we all get along and help each other out? Being a mom is hard enough!

2 comments:

Sara said...

Great post...I am always surprised when I hear about moms undermining and judging each other. Being a mom is a hard job, the hardest. Each mom is doing what they think is best and it really doesn't matter what others say...you get to be the boss. :)

Jeanne said...

It seems that some things never change. Harsh comments are formed when we forget that others are entitled to their opinions just we are entitled to ours.