Today was the third time I left Emmeline at her new school and it was the hardest day so far. Last Monday Paul and Emmeline went for an hour together to play. Afterwards he told me that I needed to be prepared when I was to go with her on Wednesday. He said that it was incredibly chaotic and Emmeline didn't stray far from him. On Wednesday I stayed with her and played for about an hour and a half. I helped with lunch and after the other toddlers were starting to lay down for their naps, I felt like I should leave. I knew that if I didn't at least attempt to leave her, Paul would be looking down his nose at me later that night. One of the teachers (Bev) was finally able to take Emmeline by the hand when the others toddlers were napping and she lead her around the school. Emmeline took her hand and when they were around a corner I dashed out. I came back and half an hour later and she was napping on Bev. I could see that tissues were strew about around them and knew that she must have gotten a bit upset. Bev laid her down in a pack-n-play and she stayed sleeping so I decided to go. I came home, ate lunch and went back after about an hour. She was still sleeping so I played with the other toddlers and read books to them. When she woke up we stayed to play for a while and had fun on the playground. I took it as a good sign that she didn't want to leave when I told her it was time to go. On Friday, I dropped her off at around 11 but stayed until about 12:20 when she was eating lunch. She whimpered a bit when I left but when I called around 1:15, they told me that she fell asleep and did just fine (later I found out she only slept for 15 minuets). I had a meeting on campus so Paul picked her up around 3:30 that day. Paul said that when she saw him she barely gave him a glance and went back to playing.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Daycare-shmaycare
I was glad that she didn't seem mad at us or emotionally traumatized but there are definitely things that I don't like about her school. One major thing is that there are three teachers to upwards of 14 toddlers and they are all in the same room. I wish that there were less kids per teacher but most centers and home day-cares have a six or seven to one ratio. Also, there is one teacher there who is particularly gruff with the toddlers. She really is a crabby old lady. I have talked to the director about this teacher because I didn't like the things that she was saying to the toddlers or the way that she was saying them. She certainly did not seem to be in compliance with the school's positive reinforcement policy. I told her that I think Emmeline is too little to be talked to like that; she wouldn't understand much of what this teacher expects them to do. And as a rule, I believe that being gentle and understanding go a lot further than harsh scolding. The director said she also had noticed this teacher getting gruff with the kids and planned to talk to her. Well, today I didn't notice a difference...and it was a rough day.
Today I brought Emmeline at about 8:30 as I had a meeting on campus at 9:15. She was crying when I left and I was devastated leaving her but I had to make it to the meeting. Plus I start teaching tomorrow and she and I have to try to get used to this whole thing. When I picked her up, the teachers assured me that she had a fine day and that she *just* started to cry when I pulled up. I am sure they are telling me the truth but I just wish I knew more about her day today. When I arrived they were transitioning from lunch to naps and it is incredibly chaotic. Plus the kids are fussy because they are all very tired. I wanted to ask more questions about her day, but they were so busy trying to sooth several toddlers, wiping noses and changing diapers. And there were three teachers today plus the owner in the toddler room.
Paul and I have done plenty of research, sent out emails, scoured craig's list, toured three centers and interviewed two women who were interested in watching Emmeline part time out of their homes. The school that we picked seemed like the best option because, among other things, it is the closest to our house and less costly. Most centers and home daycares will not take kids part-time so that ruled out quite a few. One of the women we interviewed seemed really nice but taking Emmeline to her would mean an hour-and-a-half drive to drop her off and then to get to campus. I just can't afford the time. I feel like it is more important to spend more time with Emmeline even if it means if she is going to daycare center closer to home.
But my feeling right now is that this school cannot be our best option (and this is probably because the day seemed to be so rough for her). I feel like she needs more one-on-one attention. I do like that she is getting more interaction with other kids and that she is learning things, singing songs, and doing art projects, but ideally I want her to be cared for by someone only watching one or two other kids. Is that to much to ask? Oh, and it has to be affordable and close to home, too. There needs to be better, affordable options for families out there. I just feel sick thinking about tomorrow.
P.S. New camera has been ordered and is on its way...hooray!
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3 comments:
Oh, Alli. This must be so hard for you. I have other friends who have gone through the same transitions to daycare with their toddlers, and it is always hard in the beginning. But keep in mind that you and Paul are doing the best thing for your family by continuing on in your careers, and although you'll see limitations to any care that Emmeline gets that is not your own, you're setting an example for her as a woman who can have it all -- a family and a great career. I'll be thinking of you, and please feel free to call if you want to talk, vent, or whatever. We just started Baird in a pre-nursery school program too.
I'll tell you what I told Amanda: You raise the kids and I will do the man's work.
Hi Alli, I know exactly what you are going through right now. When we decided I would go back full-time to Head Start it was sudden and I felt pressured to find someone fast. We also learned that part-time daycare is practically non-existent or not within our budget. We lucked out for now with a great girl from my neighborhood. We are paying a little more than we were hoping, but we really like her. Only problem is she will be joining the Peace Corps in May. We will be back to where you are right now. Have you put a listing on craig's list? I got many responses when I did and I would re-post it every other day. I wanted to tell you though, that as an experienced educator of young children I know that they typically cry for a week or 2 and are then very adjusted to being left. It is always hardest for mom. When you said she doesn't want to leave, that tells me she is already ok there, maybe just needing a little extra TLC sometimes. I hope things work out for you guys, I recently learned for myself just how hard it is to leave your baby with anyone. I'm finally getting more adjusted. Good luck and let me know how things work out. Patty
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